Reconstruction
by grimwoode
Summary: When their explosive battle with Zarkon is finally over, the paladins are shocked to find the Black Lion lifeless and her paladin missing. Little do they know, Shiro has unwillingly entered his own battle where his very essence is in danger. With the help of the paladins and the Black Lion, Shiro has to pave his own way back to reality.[Only listing Shiro, but it's family fluff...]
1. Void

**Notes:** Time for some comfort and fluff, right guys? Time for Shiro to finally get a well-deserved break(ish).

 **Warning** that this fic uses female pronouns for Pidge, contains mentions of PTSD, past torture, past violence, surrealism and a sickening amount of fluff.

* * *

Darkness.

Shiro thought he was done waking up in darkness and yet here he is, laying on his back on a hard, slick surface he couldn't see. Peering into the darkness above, he couldn't distinguish any lines or colours except what his mind made him see with coloured shapes and flashes of light that followed his eyes wherever they looked.

At least it didn't hurt anymore; for that, he was grateful. There was no more migraine, no more scratchy eyes from sleep deprivation, no more constant ache in his muscles from the physical stress of constantly fighting for his life, constantly being alert, and finally, no more burning pain in his right shoulder from the badly healed scars of his grafted metal limb. That's what he was most grateful for: no longer having that constant, throbbing reminder of what had been done to him and what he'd become.

Blissful silence, he thought to him. It hadn't even occurred to him that he might be dead and that this would be his afterlife.

Finally… It was all over. He could finally get some rest.

Just as the thought formed, he heard a purring behind his head and startled, tilting his head back to see what made the familiar sound, only to find himself somersaulting in mid-air, getting dizzy with its suddenness and his vision clouding with stars before he recollected himself and straightened in the zero-gravity atmosphere. He could have sworn he had been laying on a hard surface…

Looking again for the source of the sound, he was speechless to see a cluster of stars in the shape of a large feline, her eyes shimmering with bright yellow galaxies. A part of him knew this was the Black Lion in her truest form. She purred again, sitting patiently on a surface that didn't exist with her tail curled around her in a perfect image of serenity.

Shiro looked around to see where she might have come from but there was only blackness in every direction. The constellations outlining her body filled the endless space with her grandeur, blindingly bright in contrast to the surrounding blackness and drawing all his attention.

"Where are we?" he asked her.

She tilted her head to the side and her tailed twitched up the way cats do when they're relaxed and listening.

Shiro sighed. "No more talkative here than out there, huh," he murmured.

She made a guttural whine. Getting up, she walked towards where Shiro floated and pulled her ears back as she started nuzzling her large head against his neck and chest. It took Shiro a moment to process what she was doing before feeling what seemed like soft fur against his skin.

"Good girl," he chuckled, rubbing his fingers into the scruff of her neck and causing her purrs to rumble all the way into his bones. He never imagined the Black Lion had this sort of affection in her.

She slowly pushed herself on top of Shiro, forcing him on his back and play-wrestling with him as though he were her cub, only instead of nipping at him, she covered him in licks with her broad tongue, causing bursts of laughter from him.

"Okay, okay!" he laughed, trying to hold her down, but she was so much stronger than him, he gave up and let himself lay lax under her.

She groaned at his easy surrender, giving his left palm a gentle nibble to chastise him for it. She then rested her heavy head on Shiro's chest, the two of them resting like this as she continued to purr softly. Shiro couldn't get over it. Although she looked like a cluster of white stars, she felt every bit like a real lion, with thick fur and bones and teeth. Against all odds, it truly felt as though Shiro had a full-grown lion sprawled on top of him and seemingly as docile as a domesticated house cat.

He was speechless.

One of her ears twitched, following the course of his thoughts.

It occurred to him that although she was just an ethereal being in his reality, she was very much real in her own. A fuzzy feeling bloomed in his core, touched that she chose to share her reality with him.

She leaned up to press their noses together in a brief inuit kiss before lifting her large mass off him, giving him a nudge of her paw to do the same.

"You have something to show me?" he asked, getting up. He was hardly surprised to find solid ground under him again.

She growled in reply, starting to walk out into the void. He caught up with her, burying his natural hand in her warm fur and wondering what was out there.

He imagined endless possibilities.

She gave a slight tilt of her ear, confirming his thoughts. He smiled softly at how effortless their communication had become.

As it was, he couldn't be bothered to question the physics of this realm. Earlier, they were tumbling through space and now they were walking on solid ground. He couldn't be bothered to look around, knowing he would only find darkness, but he took comfort in the Black Lion's coat, glistening with stars. It was as though everything in the universe was gathered inside her very being.

If his lion really is the embodiment of the entire universe, then he considered himself a very lucky man to be chosen by her.

The Black Lion purred at his praise and Shiro couldn't help chuckling.

"You're going to help me find a way back home," he said, more as a statement than a question.

She purred, confirming for him once again.

Shiro smiled. He would trust his lion to the ends of every galaxy. He felt a surge of pride emanating from her and he couldn't help but feel flattered by it. He noticed her tilting her head towards the horizon, drawing his attention away from her and to look ahead, and contrary to his expectations, a thin white line coloured and curved on the horizon, separating above from below. Shiro's gaze fixed on this line before him.

He wasn't understanding any of this.

And the closer they got, he realized the line on the horizon was actually a light that brightened with every step they took towards it. Now he could see that they were walking on a mirrored surface, nearly invisible with the exception of his and his lion's reflections below them. It still didn't explain the free-falling feeling from earlier, but he gave up trying to explain things that were clearly meant to remain unexplainable.

And yet the closer he got, the less the light looked like a line and more like a solid wall of white light. Flecks of radiant dust floated off of it. They almost looked like stars dancing in the brightness.

A feeling of general unease settled in Shiro's gut. He stopped a few feet away from the wall, not because he didn't want to move forward but because something was holding him back. He wasn't sure if he should.

The Black Lion took a few more steps before realizing Shiro stopped following her and looked back curiously. She gave a low growl, encouraging him to continue and trying to assure him.

 _This is not the end_ , said a voice in Shiro's head and he winced at the presence, all at once remembering how he once lost control in a fit of rage that was not his. But this voice sounded like his mother and he realized it was the Black Lion speaking to him because she could see that her presence of mind was not enough in this moment.

Shiro was afraid to let go, and she knew why, but he needed to know that moving forward was necessary.

With a quiet, defeated sigh, Shiro followed the Black Lion into the light.


	2. Pidge

Shiro had to shield his eyes from the light as he walked forward. With his eyes closed, he tripped into something that stuck out of the ground and yelped as he fell forward.

Grass. Fresh, green, long and overgrown grass mixed with a heavy scent of dark soil that filled his senses. His fingers curled into the familiar textures that tickled his face.

His heart started pounding with what this might mean. Glancing around, he found the tree root he had tripped on, twisted and thickened by the years. He quickly noticed he was in a great, lush forest with trees too big and twisted and unrecognizable, vines dripping from the many branches, leaves bigger than his head, and large and vibrant wild flowers dotting the forest floor.

Filled with hope, he got back up and dusted the dirt and grass off his clothes. And then he realized that the Black Lion was no longer by his side and a sense of unease crept back into his gut.

"Okay," he said quietly to himself, taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts and think this through.

He walked into a great white light with an abstract being. Check.

The other side turned out to be an old forest with lots of trees and flowers. The Garden of Eden? Check.

Yep. He must be dead. And it turns out that God is just a big, surprisingly affectionate cat.

"I must be dreaming."

Shiro startled at the voice and spun into a fighting stance, causing Pidge to jump back with her hands up.

"Pidge?" exclaimed Shiro. "How did this happen? How did you get here?" he asked. His chest clenched with guilt as thoughts whirled in his head that maybe if he was faster, stronger, pushed himself that little bit harder, then maybe he could have prevented this and Pidge could've lived. It was his fault the last of Sam's family died, his fault—

Pidge gave him a confused look. "I should be asking _you_ that," she said. "Where the hell did you go after the battle? You just disappeared!"

"What are you talking about?" replied Shiro. "I died, didn't I? Aren't we dead?"

"Die? Oh, I'm not dead," said Pidge with certainty, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"But… the white light, this forest," said Shiro, calmly, as though breaking sad news to an old friend.

Pidge took a look around. "We're on Olkarion," she said.

Shiro then took a look around as well, his ears burning slightly realizing she was right. How did he miss that?

So this was not the Garden of Eden. Uncheck.

"So what… how...?"

"Well, considering what happened today between you suddenly disappearing and me being very much alive, my conclusion would be that I finally passed out from exhaustion and that you're a figment of my imagination," said Pidge, her voice starting to crack at the end. "And a very convincing one at that."

Shiro's head was reeling. "No, I walked in here."

Pidge raised a brow at him, sitting down on the tree root he tripped on earlier. "From where?" she asked.

Shiro sighed to himself and sat down beside her to start describing his weird experience in the void with the Black Lion.

"A wall of solid light," she said, giving him a sceptical glare. "There's no way that _my_ mind made that up," she added in a playfully mocking tone.

"That's because I'm _real_."

"Prove it," she dared, lifting an arm and pulling back her sleeve for him to pinch her.

Shiro gave her a disapproving look, not unsimilar to the one he typically gives Lance.

"Just do it," she said, her brows fusing in disbelief that a figment of her imagination would dare question her.

Shiro quietly groaned and raised his right hand to pinch her.

"Not the _metal_ one," she said, batting him away.

He rolled his eyes and pinched her with his left hand instead—not hard, obviously. "That hurt?" he asked.

"No." She pulled her hand back and punched him square in the jaw, hard enough to knock him backwards off the tree root. "That hurt?" she asked, smirking down at him.

Shiro gave her The Look. "No," he mumbled, prompting a bubbling laugh from her. The sound of it melted his scowl; he really couldn't bring himself to be mad at her.

"Dreams are awesome. I should try sleeping more," she mused just to tease him.

"So I supposedly vanish into thin air and your first reaction when dreaming about me is to punch me in the face?" he asked, standing up again.

"No, my first reaction was to run up and hug you, but you looked ready to punch _me_."

Shiro chuckled and opened his arms wide, inviting her to do so. She smiled brightly and jumped down to run into his arms and wrap hers around his middle, burying her face in his chest as he returned the hug.

"All better?" he asked, smiling warmly.

She nodded, but didn't let go. He suddenly felt all too real. With her face still buried there, she said, "you're not really a figment of my imagination, are you," in a tone too serious for Shiro's taste.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"You're too self-aware to just be a dream," she continued, her grip at his back tightening. "You just… disappeared. Not a trace, no body, no sign that you might've been ejected or forced out of the Black Lion's cockpit, _nothing_. It's almost like you never even existed in the first place."

Shiro swallowed hard, finding his own grip around her shoulders tightening protectively.

"It's not fair," she continued. "First dad and Matt, and now you too, this _isn't fair_ and it doesn't make sense!"

Shiro could hear her voice cracking and laid his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "I'll find a way back," he promised, willing the weight of his words to get through to Pidge.

She gazed up at him, her eyes swelling with tears she was too proud to let drop. "We're all made of the same cosmic dust," she murmured to herself, pieces of a puzzle too complex starting to fit into place in her mind, just as Shiro had a flash memory of the light particles he walked through to get here, almost like lightbulbs going off in his brain.

"The Black Lion was with you, you said?" she asked him with a resounding sense of urgency.

"Yes?"

"She's been offline since our fight with Zarkon," said Pidge with dawning realization. "When you landed that last blow, Voltron was forced apart and we were all fine except the Black Lion was offline and you stopped responding. We carried her back to the castle and went inside to see if you were okay, but you were gone too!" she exclaimed, realization morphing into excitement.

"Okay, you say that like it's a good thing, but that sounds really, really bad."

"No! Don't you get it? It's like you _literally_ turned into cosmic dust!"

"That sounds very much like being _dead_ to me," deadpanned Shiro.

"Except you wouldn't just be casually walking into other people's dreams if you were _dead_ ," she replied, mockingly mimicking him on the last word.

Shiro gave her The Look again.

"I rest my case," she said with a smug grin.

"Unless you're a figment of _my_ imagination," he reminded soberly, knowing all too well his mind was never really the same since his imprisonment with the Galra. It wouldn't be the first time he's heard voices, although it would be the first time they materialize in front of him. And punched him in the face.

"Well, yeah, there's that," said Pidge, not seeming particularly bothered by that and not noticing how Shiro's expression suddenly darkened. "Just find the Black Lion again. She must be leading you _somewhere_. Trust her."

"How do I find her?"

"Same way Keith found the Blue Lion?" She shrugged, giving him a lopsided grin.

Shiro raised a brow at her before returning the grin. "Care for an adventure?"

"Heck yeah!" she beamed. "Where're we heading?"

Shiro couldn't help smiling at her enthusiasm. Closing his eyes, he tried to concentrate is thoughts on the Black Lion's energy that think, delicate lace that bound them together, trying to call her with his very being just like many times before.

But Shiro was distracted.

He couldn't bring himself to completely believe Pidge's theory. It seemed too farfetched, too unrealistic to think he was just walking into people's dreams, alive yet non-existent. Despite Pidge's confidence in her theory, Shiro couldn't shake the feeling that he was very much dead and he couldn't fool himself into thinking otherwise.

It wasn't his death that troubled him. He came to terms with the end of his life a long time ago, but it tormented him to think the other paladins, these _kids_ might have died with him, and he didn't feel as though he had done his best to protect them.

The way he was looking at this, either Pidge was just another mind trick, or she died too and was just in denial about the fact that her life had ended far too soon.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and Shiro hardly noticed the worry in her voice.

He stopped trying to concentrate and let out a long breath.

"Sorry. I can't reach her," he said.

"Fairly sure that's not the reason why you're crying," murmured Pidge, her eyes fixed sternly with worry. She wasn't about to let him brush her off from within her own dream.

Shiro could see that she was determined and sighed. "It's nothing," he said, rubbing the moisture from his eyes.

She groaned loudly. "Don't pull that macho crap on me. This thing guys have where they can't cry or have emotions is _so_ unhealthy and _stupid_. Every time I catch Lance _almost_ crying, it makes _me_ want to cry from secondhand embarrassment—" Shiro laughed at that and she softened a little at the sound of it, clearing her throat. "Look, my point is that I'm definitely not dead. I'm just asleep, so unless I died of an aneurysm in my sleep or something, then I'm dreaming." She adjusted her glasses again. "And as I've already said, you're too self-aware and _real_ … feeling to just be a dream, which tells me you're not dead either. You're still alive, Shiro, and you're missing. Your lion led you into my dream for a reason so let me help!"

"How am I supposed to know why she led me here? She won't even answer to me," he argued, his frustration mounting.

" _My_ guess is that it has something to do with why you were about to cry just now," she mumbled, cocking a brow at him and crossing her arms in steadfast resolve.

Shiro sighed, taking the chance to just be out with it. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It was surprisingly hard to confide his guilt to a little girl.

Pidge sighed. "Fine," she murmured, turning her back and starting to walk in the direction of the city.

"Wait, Pidge," called Shiro, catching up to her and following. "I'm sorry, it's just not easy to talk about."

"I know."

"So if I can't sense my lion, how do I find her?"

"I don't know. Maybe mine will know," she shrugged, still walking through the forest.

"You know where the Green Lion is?" replied Shiro in surprise.

"I sensed her this way a while ago," said Pidge.

Shiro's chest constricted. Maybe he hadn't properly bonded with his lion after all.

They continued to walk through the bustling forest, reaching the now deserted habitats. On the ground, the Green Lion was plainly visible, sitting erect with eyes glaring yellow, waiting patiently for her paladin.

As well as the Blue, Red, and Yellow Lions, each sitting up like watchful statues, gazes alert. They formed a semicircle around the Black Lion, laying with her head between her front paws, her eyes dimmed and dormant.

"I never liked metaphors," murmured Pidge, jumping down into the clearing to greet the Green Lion.

Shiro walked up to the Black Lion and laid his palm against the metal of her jaw, trying to feel for her.

"She's not here," he murmured. "It's just her empty shell."

"That's pretty much how we found her when she was just floating in space," said Pidge, joining Shiro by the Black Lion's side. "If she doesn't wake up, then _no_ one can pilot her. Without her, there's no Voltron."

"Allura could probably—"

"Coran doesn't have the energy to create wormholes like Allura does. She's the only one that can pilot the ship safely."

Shiro frowned. "Then it's a good thing we finally beat Zarkon."

"Well… about that," she said sheepishly. "We don't actually know if we beat him or just knocked him out."

Shiro spun on her. "Are you kidding me?"

"I wish," she said sadly. "We need you back, Shiro."

Shiro's expression softened. "I wish I knew how to _get_ back," he said. "But I don't even know how to reach my lion."

"It's okay. We'll figure it out," assured Pidge, shifting closer to hold his hand and give it an encouraging squeeze. "In the meantime, might as well make the most of it, right?"

"What d'you mean?" he asked, a little confused.

"I mean… If there's anyone that sleeps less than me in the Castle, it's you," she said with a hint of amusement. "We all need a break, but you most of all. We thought we were just skipping school for a day. You _just_ escaped from a Galra prison and became the Head of Voltron."

Shiro groaned internally.

"Just go ahead and take a stupid vacation. With Zarkon down and this fancy new ability to walk into people's dreams, now's your chance to take that stupid vacation," reasoned Pidge.

"Yes, well. That's nice and all, but this whole Schrodinger's Cat situation doesn't feel too restful."

Shiro couldn't help observing Pidge, trying to gouge her mental state.

"Shiro," she said suddenly. "Do you blame yourself?"

Shiro was stunned by the question.

"I mean for what happened to my dad and brother," she continued.

Shiro somehow felt like he was caught red-handed in the middle of a lie. "Y-yes," he said. "It was a pilot error, after all," he reasoned, enunciating slowly.

Pidge frowned. "We all know that's bullshit."

"Language—"

"Nothing that happened to us—or them—was your fault," she ploughed on. "I certainly don't blame you, so why blame yourself?"

Shiro swallowed hard. "Because I was there," he said. "I could've done something."

"And you probably tried your best, too. Has it occurred to you that the results you got from your efforts might've been the best results you could've possibly gotten in this reality?"

Shiro grimaced. "You sound like Slav."

"Yeah, well, he's rubbing off on me," pouted Pidge, hiding behind her glasses.

Shiro chuckled. "Do you really think that's true? That I did the best I could?"

"You always do," she replied. "There's no reason why it would've been different back on Kerberos."

Shiro thought her words over, staring blankly at the Black Lion in front of him. Was he ready to forgive himself for all the things that went wrong?

"But what happened with Zarkon, with him being able to connect with the Black Lion and find us every ti—"

"Not your fault."

"But—"

"No!" Pidge shouted, standing aside now with her fists balled at her sides. "Allura said the previous paladins of Voltron had years to train with their lions. _We didn't_. It only makes sense that the previous paladins' links with the lions would still stay strong, even after 10,000 years, but it's not _your fault_ that Zarkon even _lived_ that long." She crossed her arms. "If anything, it's thanks to you our team didn't fall apart at the very beginning. You managed to forge a bond strong enough and fast enough to prevent Zarkon from taking over at any point in any given battle in the first place."

Shiro glanced at Pidge. He was aware of his throat constricting, making it harder to breathe and swallow—it was the first sign of any pain since "dying".

Must be some sort of breakthrough.

"Shiro, please," begged Pidge. "You need to let go of all this guilt."

"I don't know how," he said, barely holding back his exasperation.

Pidge's eyes flashed with frustration before she sighed. She yanked on his arm to pull him down to her level—causing him to yelp in surprise—and wrapped her arms around in neck in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry."

"Never mind that," said Pidge. "You can make it all up to all of us by coming back home and helping us find my family."

Shiro returned the hug. "You really think I can do this? Come back to life?"

"I do. Find the Black Lion. She'll bring you back to us."

Shiro nodded. He gently nudged Pidge off him to get back up, placing a hand against the Black Lion's cold, lifeless bulk. "If you're not here, then where?" he asked himself.

The only concrete words the Black Lion has ever spoken to him: _this is not the end_. Keeping that in mind, Shiro had to believe that everything Pidge said was true. Did the Black Lion lead him into Pidge's dream to get him to let go of his guilt, just like she told him?

If Pidge is right about something as absurd as this all being a dream where his soul just wandered, then why wouldn't he be able to forgive himself for his past mistakes? If he can trust that she's right about them being alive, then surely he can trust her when she says he's not at fault.

He rested his brow against the back of his left hand still pressed against his lion's snout. He felt the fingers of his right hand being nudged apart and something weaving between them. Although he couldn't feel her warmth through his lifeless limb, he knew it was Pidge again. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, actually," he assured, lifting his head up again to gaze up at his lion. "For the first time in a long time, I think I feel okay."

She smiled up at him. "Let's go inside," she suggested.

"All right," agreed Shiro, his lips quirking into a ghost of a smile.

Since Pidge was in her regular clothes, Shiro picked her up before using his jetpack to glide up onto the Black Lion's head, opening the hatch to slip inside. Hardly a moment later, he was sitting in the cockpit with Pidge hovering over his shoulder. He grasped the handles as he'd done many times before, trying to sense his lion again, but she did not react to his touch.

"It's kind of like a quest, isn't it?" asked Pidge. "Turning into cosmic dust, having your soul drift through an abstract realm, trying to put the pieces of your life back together?"

The Black Lion's engines hummed around them, startling them both.

"My guess is that the Black Lion agrees with you," Shiro thought aloud.

"So that's one piece of the puzzle. What else?"

"The Black Lion is the one guiding me."

"Right. And you're drifting through dreams."

"Right…"

A burst of white light filled the cockpit from outside. The same dusky wall appeared in the horizon, just barely visible behind the tall trees.

"Is that…?" asked Pidge, her thought barely forming in her awe at what she'd seen.

"The light at the end of the metaphorical tunnel," he smirked.

She gave his arm a punch for daring to utter that, prompting a laugh from him.

"I guess that's where I'm heading," he said, getting up to leave the cockpit.

"Why aren't you just piloting the Black Lion to get there?" asked Pidge. "Is she still inactive?"

"Wherever she is, she's not here," frowned Shiro, opening the hatch to slip out as Pidge followed. "My best bet is to reach that edge."

"You don't even know where it leads," reasoned Pidge.

"I didn't know where the last one went, either," he said. "Besides, nothing here has been a coincidence so far. For the wall to show itself while we were inside the Black Lion, that must be where I need to go to find her."

Pidge wrinkled her nose in thought. "It's not impossible," she murmured, jumping down off the Black Lion.

"That's funny," laughed Shiro, "coming from the paladin that came up with the theory that I didn't die but turned into 'cosmic dust' and drifted into some dream realm."

"Better than being dead," mumbled Pidge, feeling the back of her neck all the way up to her cheeks burn.

"It's okay, Pidge. I'm just taking things in stride—the way you would," he said, pausing to glance back at her and smiled as he noticed her blushing even more.

She sighed in defeat and followed him. With a loud screech of metal and gears, the Green Lion sitting behind lifted her head up as she kept a careful watch over them. Pidge glanced back to wave at her lion before turning back in the direction of the light with Shiro.

"You think I'll be able to follow you into the light?" Pidge asked curiously. "Would be interesting to see what Coran dreams about…"

"I'd rather you don't," admitted Shiro. "Would defeat the purpose of a _personal_ quest," he added more playfully.

But on the other hand, he wondered what would happen if Pidge did follow him into the light. Would her soul follow him into another dream? Would she suddenly wake up? A small part of Shiro even feared the possibility that Pidge might turn into cosmic dust as well.

And that was something he couldn't allow.

"I should do it," grinned Pidge. "Nothing bad can happen; I'm just sleeping."

"No," Shiro said more firmly. "If your soul drifts like mine and you slip into a coma, you're useless. You need to wake up and let the others know what happened to me."

She gave him an angry frown. "You're basing this on what ifs?'

"Everything about this is a what if," countered Shiro.

Pidge huffed, thinking to herself that he can't actually stop her once he's already passed through.

Shiro sighed, realizing what she was probably thinking but knew he couldn't physically stop her.

"Look, don't you agree that the others should know what happened?"

"Yes," mumbled Pidge. Knowing where he was going with this, she groaned and said: "Fine. I won't go into the cool-looking white light."

"Thank you," he said, smiling at her.

"I better not be missing out on anything awesome," she murmured, and Shiro could only chuckle, giving her hair an affectionate ruffle.

They walked in a comfortable silence through the forest, always towards the light that filled the horizon. Since they had the leisure for it, both of them took the time to take a better look around them, at the rich, colourful lush of the forest they found themselves.

"Why are you dreaming of Olkarion?" Shiro thought to ask.

"I don't know," shrugged Pidge. "I guess I've been thinking about this place a lot since I discovered the Green Lion's ability. Like a special connection." She gasped quietly when she heard a rustle in the ferns, the first sign of any life aside from her and Shiro since they found each other. "Did you hear that?"

Shiro opened his mouth to answer, his features scrunched in confusion when he saw a shimmer in the greenery. "Never mind. I think I saw it," he whispered.

"I saw it too," murmured Pidge, starting to feel scared but not willing to show it-not until she knows what it is.

Before their eyes, the shimmering in the ferns turned into a pale glimmer, like a cluster of fireflies against the leaves. The little sparks of light came closer, taking shape into a feline figure, a low growl emanating from it.

Pidge and Shiro balked as the Green Lion materialized in front of their eyes. Shiro watched as realization and a look of pure glee came over Pidge's features as she moved towards her lion, her hand weaving through her thick fur, causing a rumbling purr to fill the silence.

"Look at you… So beautiful," she smiled. The Green Lion nuzzled into her paladin's neck, giving her a light, affectionate headbutt before walking away in the direction of the light.

Pidge happily followed her lion. Shiro smiled seeing her so happy, following behind the two. It wasn't the Black Lion, but it was a good sign in any case. He kept quiet since it seemed as though Pidge and her lion were exchanging thoughts and feelings, filling the forest with hushed giggles and warm purrs until the light was blindingly close.

"So much cooler up close," beamed Pidge, keeping a safe distance from the light and the flecks of dust radiating off of it. "Does it feel warm when you walk into it?"

"Not warm, not cold, no pressure, nothing," answered Shiro. "Feels like nothing's even there."

"So cool," she grinned.

Shiro stood before the wall, hesitating as he continued to contemplate everything they said in this dream.

"Your dad and brother would be proud of you," he said to Pidge, glancing back at her. "They _will_ be proud. When we find them."

"I know," she smiled. "They'd be proud of you too, you know. They _are_ proud of you."

That brought a smile to Shiro's face. When he turned back, he noticed the Black Lion walking towards them from the light, her body a black nebula filled with stars. They both marvelled at the immensity of her being, although she physically only appeared to reach up to Shiro's chest.

"See ya on the other side," grinned Pidge, causing him to laugh again as he strode forward with his lion, disappearing into the blinding light as it evaporated into air with him.

"Huh?" exclaimed Pidge in confusion and surprise as she watched the wall of light fade out, its flecks of cosmic dust floating up into an azure sky. Panic fluttered in her chest as the flecks hit the atmosphere and caused everything around her to dissolve into blackness, closing in on her and—

* * *

Pidge woke up to an alarm blaring, her messy workshop flooded with an intermittent red light that spoke a universal sign: Danger! Danger!

The Castle was in danger.

With adrenaline surging in her veins, Pidge jumped out of her chair to get suited up and find out what was going on and how she can help fix it. Her dream was forgotten.


	3. Hunk

The dust of light cleared, revealing a rocky landscape punctuated with blue-tinted, clear crystals jutting from the ground. A purple-orange sunset coloured the atmosphere above, although there was no visible sun.

Shiro recognized this place instantly, and the occasional Galra machinery spotting the landscape confirmed it: this is the Balmera. It looked exactly the way they left it the last time they were here.

As Shiro glanced around, he found no sign of the Black Lion, much less a wall of light like the one he emerged from. There wasn't even a trace of it. The Balmera seemed completely deserted, just like the forests of Olkarion. He wondered worriedly if Pidge was all right on the other end. He wondered if this really was another dream and whose it might be.

Then he finally took a moment to glance down and noticed that the ground was far closer than he remembered, as though he had somehow shrunk. He was wearing his regular clothes rather than his paladin armour.

"This is weird," he thought aloud, and startled himself hearing just how _young_ he sounded. His hands shot up to look at: one chubby little left hand and a metal right limb to match its size. Shiro quickly started to panic, his breaths coming in short and ragged as he struggled to comprehend what had happened to him, how could this have happened, how could he fix this, and oh my god, _I can't lead Voltron as a kid_ , what's going on—

"Hello?" came a hesitant voice from behind him that Shiro instantly recognized. He spun around and standing behind him, perfectly _himself_ , unchanged and clearly worried, was Hunk. Slowly, recognition coloured his expression, realizing the little boy in front of him was Shiro- _the_ Shiro-and the terrified child ran to him to wrap his tiny arms around Hunk's legs and sob.

"Hey, it's okay," said Hunk, his voice sweet and soothing (and only the slightest hint of hesitation) as he crouched to wrap his arms around Shiro, picking him up. "It's okay, little guy. Hunk'll take good care of you."

Although just a minute ago, Shiro was fine, albeit overwhelmed, now he felt like it was all impossible, all his inhibitions and his adult desire to be the strong one, the rock that others lean on, floated away. He was just a kid-it felt impossible to believe that just moments ago he had so much responsibility and guilt weighing on his tiny shoulders. All he wanted was to feel safe, to feel loved, to feel cared for, but the only thoughts running through his mind was that he didn't deserve to feel that way and he couldn't remember why. He let himself be rocked by Hunk, letting the gentle giant soothe and cradle him. When he was all cried out, he sniffled and buried his face into Hunk's broad chest.

"All better?" asked Hunk, a smile starting to play at his lips.

Shiro nodded weakly, feeling his head pounding. "Why am I so small and you're still so big?" he asked, his voice too foreign for himself.

"I don't know, but I guess I already miss you lots back at the Castle," said Hunk, thinking aloud. "Why don't I take you down to the Balmerans and try to get this all figured out, okay?"

Shiro seemed to think about it a minute, but soon nodded his consent. Although it felt strange being carried, he couldn't help liking the feeling and didn't insist on being put down again, preferring the simple contact.

And Hunk didn't offer to put him down, simply carrying him all the way to the shaft leading down into the tunnels and walking all the way. He rambled about all the fun things he missed doing when he was a kid and how lucky Shiro was to be able to experience all of that again.

"But I'm still _me_ ," insisted Shiro. Although his body was that of a four year old, he still felt he could remember everything he learned as an adult.

"Of course you are, but also, the Shiro I know wouldn't cry," reminded Hunk with a tentative frown. "I know you're still you, but you're just a younger you."

Shiro pouted and decided to remain quiet, letting Hunk do most of the talking until they reached the small village inside where Shay's family lived.

"Huh. That's weird," said Hunk, finding their home and all the others empty.

"It was like this on Olkarion too," murmured Shiro quietly. "When I was with Pidge."

"You saw Pidge before coming here?" asked Hunk, raising a brow. He decided to go sit down by the fire the Balmerans had going and laid Shiro in his lap as they talked.

Shiro nodded in answer. "She told me to find my lion so I can get back to the real world," he said. "She said I disappeared and that no one knew where I went."

"That's true," said Hunk. "But I don't understand. I thought I was dreaming, so how are you, like, in my dream, but remembering another dream like it just happened? Aw man, I must've passed out at my desk. Did Pidge pass out at her desk?"

Shiro shrugged, confused by how fast Hunk's thoughts were going.

"Okay, doesn't matter. So you got sucked into some sort of void and now you're just wandering into people's dreams?"

Shiro nodded hesitantly.

"Okay, well that's kinda cool."

A small bubble of giggles burst from Shiro at the smile that tugged Hunk's lips just then. He stopped when he noticed Hunk staring at him with open awe.

"That was the most adorable thing I have ever seen you do," he chuckled, causing Shiro to blush in embarrassment "Oh, this is going to be so much fun. So Pidge thinks you need to find your lion, right? Can you sense her?"

Shiro's expression became serious again as he tried to concentrate on the Black Lion's signature aura. His hands balled into fists, pressing against his temples as he struggled to concentrate and whimpered when he couldn't sense her—again.

"Oh my god, you are so cute," gushed Hunk to himself, watching Shiro's deep, childlike concentration with his eyes closed tight, brows knit together, and nose scrunched. "Alright, it's okay. We'll figure this out. How about this: I know where the yellow lion is so let's go see her, okay? I'm sure she'll love seeing you again and knowing you're okay."

With a quiet sniffle, Shiro nodded. He felt a painful pang in his chest to see the other lions, but it was a relief to see them being okay, even if the Black Lion wasn't.

With his consent, Hunk picked Shiro up in his arms again, this time encouraging him to relay what happened in Pidge's dream so far as he could remember. Before he could finish, they found the towering lions in one of the openings of the cavern, sitting tall as they did on Olkarion with the Black Lion still laying with her head between her paws. The Green Lion was nowhere to be seen, this time.

"Huh, looks like it really _is_ like a weird sort of quest. That's kinda cool," smiled Hunk, finally setting Shiro down to let him waddle on his own towards his lion, lying lifeless and cold on the cavern floor.

Shiro frowned seeing her so empty and hollow, sniffling as he worried he could never help her come back to him, that he might never feel her again or be able to properly bond with her. With the weight of his fears, he started to cry again, this time more quietly and submissively. He was just so tired of feeling powerless, helpless, needy.

"Oh, Shiro, please don't cry," frowned Hunk, coming up to Shiro to comfort him again. "What's wrong? Talk to me, please."

Shiro shook his head, burying his face in his balled fists and avoiding Hunk's gaze.

"No, that's enough of that," said Hunk more severely. "It's one thing to pretend everything is fine all the time when you're grown up, but don't do this now. It's enough of a pain in the ass in real life"—Shiro gasped at the bad word—"but not coming from a little kid in my own dream. I can't help you get through this if you don't talk to me so spill it: tell me what's wrong."

Shiro bit his lip, ready to shake his head again, but he broke down crying again and gave up. "It's too hard," he stammered.

"Okay, that's a start," said Hunk, rubbing soft circles into Shiro's back. "But what's too hard? Finding your way back?"

Shiro shook his head. "Not just that," he whimpered. "Everything is too hard, I'm scared, and I don't wanna be the head of Voltron," he cried. "I don't wanna be responsible for everything, I don't wanna be scared all the time, and I don't wanna be hurting all the time."

Hunk sighed quietly and lowered himself down to Shiro's level. "Look at me, buddy," he said, twisting Shiro around a little more so they were facing each other. "You're right, everything is really hard, but it's not like you're alone," he reminded. "Everyone on the team wants to help, okay? We love helping! And just because you're the head of Voltron, doesn't make you responsible for all of us. We can be responsible for ourselves, too, y'know. We're all scared, and we all think it's too hard, but that's why we need to work as a team, right? And we need a good leader that knows how to get our butts back to work when we need it," he said more playfully, causing a weak giggle to erupt from Shiro. "Where are you hurting?" Hunk finally asked him.

At that, Shiro bit his lip, tears welling at the fresh batch of memories that formed and shook his head.

"Come on, Shiro. You _need_ to let me take care of you now. A little kid can't do everything by himself and that _includes_ coping. Let go and talk to me. Please?"

Shiro looked down, shuffling his feet against the dirt. He could hear the yellow lion lowering her massive head, as though trying to lean a little closer to hear his very thoughts. "My arm hurts," he mumbled, lazily lifting the prosthetic before letting it fall back to his side. "And my head hurts and my chest hurts, too, when I remember bad things."

"You mean you've had other flashbacks?" Hunk asked worriedly, and when Shiro nodded, he frowned. "Why didn't you tell anyone you were having bad memories?"

"Because I can take care of it myself," pouted Shiro.

"But I bet it's really hard. Shiro, how are we supposed to be a team when one of us keeps all his hardships to himself? We want to help, you know," said Hunk, his tone softly chastising Shiro for being so stubborn with his own troubles.

"But I don't—don't wanna burden you," he whimpered.

"You're not, buddy, I promise," assured Hunk. "You want me, Pidge, Lance, and Keith to be super healthy, right?" Shiro nodded. "Well, we want you to be super healthy too. And being in pain like that is definitely not healthy. Okay? So from now on, tell us when something is hurting."

Shiro nodded again. He stopped shuffling his feet to bump his forehead into Hunk's chest. The young man was all too happy to hold Shiro in his arms again, letting him calm down.

With a whirring of gears, the Yellow Lion shifted above them again, letting out a low groan. "My lion says there's something down this cavern," relayed Hunk. "You wanna go check it out? It might be your portal thing."

Shiro nodded, pulling away from Hunk now that he was feeling a little better. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to talk about his burdens with the younger paladins, but it was something he could at least try to do. For Hunk's sake, at least. He shyly took his hand as they walked, not ready to let go of this little bit of human contact, so natural in children but almost taboo as an adult. He wasn't sure if he would be able to let go if they _did_ find the wall of light.

And just like before, the walk seemed impossibly brief. Unfortunately, it did not lead to any wall of light; they simply wound up in the heart of the Balmera, where she hummed and sighed contently—the only other living thing apparent.

Hunk hummed in thought seeing the organism, lightly pressing his palm against her pulsing side, prompting a groan from her and a rumble in the ground that startled both of them.

"That was weird," he stated, quickly pulling his hand away from the glowing patch of skin, just as one of the doors up on the platform slid open. Shiro and Hunk both glanced at the entrance wearily and with a combined shrug, walked up and through it.

This part of the caverns was darker, barely lit by the occasional, scattered crystals of quintessence. There were so few, this particular way must have been barely used. "I don't like where this is going," murmured Hunk, not bothering to hide his rising fear.

Shiro frowned and gave Hunk's sleeve a tug. He wanted to go on, but he was too afraid to go alone. Hunk could tell and with a sigh, cautiously trudged on with Shiro in his arms again.

"The light at the end of the tunnel better be warm and cozy," said Hunk in mock-seriousness, causing Shiro to giggle again.

"It doesn't feel like anything," he explained, slowly getting used to his new, soft and light voice. "But it looks cool."

"Cool is good," smiled Hunk. "Cool is better than dangerous or toxic or invisible," he joked, prompting more light giggles from Shiro. The sound of it was so incredibly endearing to Hunk, he wanted to cherish it (while still keeping it their little secret as much as he wanted to gush to the other paladins about it).

"I miss everyone," murmured Shiro suddenly. "I miss my lion."

"We miss you too, buddy," promised Hunk. "And we're gonna help you find the Black Lion again, too, okay? Team work time!" he added with an exaggerated Superman pose, causing more innocent laughter from Shiro.

Up ahead, a white light glimmered faintly around a bend. Excited to finally reach the end of the road, Shiro wiggled out of Hunk's arms to run down the corridor, careful not to trip and fall as he glanced around the bend with Hunk running after him.

Just as he thought, the entire tunnel was blocked by a wall of white light, shimmering with a feather-like dust that flickered in many shades of green, just barely noticeable in the white expanse. In front of it stood the Black Lion in her star-glimmered nebula coat and another, thicker ethereal feline with a coat made of diamond dust with glittered in the light.

"Holy crap," gasped Hunk, not only at the sight of the divide, but also at his own lion, gleefully walking to her to lay a hand on her broad head. She leaned up into his touch, basking in the caress.

It took the child a while to pull his eyes away from the light and his lion. She walked over to him to lay her heavy head on his, pulling him to her chest protectively.

Hunk smiled warmly at the sight of the two. "You're such a cute kid, you know that? I bet you got everything you ever wanted when you were young."

Shiro laughed. "I already have everything I want," he said, glancing at Hunk. "And I'm gonna get the rest of my team back. Just you watch."

"I know you will. Now get on with your quest so we can have a proper group hug."

Shiro smiled brightly, the most unhindered, sincere smile he's cracked in a long time. With a skip in his step and his lion by his side, he crossed the mysterious barrier between worlds.

* * *

Hunk was startled awake, an alarm blaring and pounding through his head. His tired eyes peeked open to see red lights flooding his workshop, the abandoned prototype prosthetic he'd been building for Shiro laying on his table—since their leader was lost, he decided to distract himself with this long forgotten project.

But right now, the Castle was in danger.

With a sigh, Hunk jumped out of his chair to get suited up and find out what was going on and how he can help fix it. Shiro will have to wait a little bit longer.


	4. Lance

The first thing Shiro looked out for when he crossed over to the other side was to see what was the same and what was different about himself: he was relieved to see he was his usual adult self again but was a little self-conscious to find himself mostly nude, except for the slate-grey surf shorts that hung low on his hips down to his knees. He looked around curiously, wondering which planet he might have wound up on this time, but was surprised to find a white, sandy beach and turquoise waters, a shimmering sun shining bright in the midday sky. Glancing behind, he only found grassy dunes hiding whatever laid beyond.

Everything about this place was warm and welcoming, relaxing and charming. The air was almost palpable with the heat and he vaguely thought to himself that he was going to suffer from a nasty sunburn by the time he found his lion again.

It was both foreign and familiar in a strange way that Shiro couldn't quite figure out. It's familiarness sparked an ache in his chest that was almost crippling in its intensity, and he wished he could pinpoint why he felt so incredibly sad, as though he was watching a loved one die over and over again. Then he wondered why that analogy came to mind in the first place.

The previous dreams didn't appeal to his senses like this one. For a moment, he stood entranced on the sunny beach, just looking out at the vast expanse of blue and listening to the waves break on the sandy shores. Only an occasional wisp of white cloud dotted the sky and the sun beat peacefully down. He vaguely wondered if his scars would tan pale in contrast to the rest of his skin, or if they'd remain pink and tender as usual. He wondered how the metal of his prosthetic would conduct heat into his stump and if it would just feel like a mild warmth or if it would burn him.

He didn't have to wait long before the light breeze carried voices to him. They sounded young and unconcerned, something Shiro missed since his life took a turn for the worst. Since the previous dreams he entered only had the one paladin in them, he was surprised to hear more than one voice and curiously walked over to see who they were.

Walking around the sandy dunes, he couldn't be more surprised to find a small beach party with the other four paladins (yeah, _all four of them_ ) bantering over some beach volleyball. Lance and Keith were heatedly arguing, their voices rising with every fresh lash out while Hunk stood aside scratching his head and Pidge slumped into the sand with her legs crossed, her chin propped up on one hand leaning on her knee. Only now could he hear Pidge and Hunk trying to reason with the other two, their voices failing to carry into the wind like Lance's and Keith's.

And despite how unusual the situation was, Shiro couldn't help rolling his eyes at the familiarity of their behaviour.

But then he noticed Lance's expression shift from an angry frown to shock and then glee as he noticed Shiro standing a ways away on the beach. He started to excitedly wave him over, his name faintly carrying in the wind and the other three quickly turned to see him, looks of relief washing over all but Keith who seemed to wear a permanent scowl to Shiro's confusion.

And the closer Shiro walked, the more Hunk and Pidge seemed… off. They all seemed off in a way Shiro couldn't pinpoint, but it didn't take long for him to see that neither the Green nor Yellow Paladin remembered the dream Shiro shared with them not long ago.

Meanwhile, Keith stood aside with his arms crossed over his chest, looking sullen like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

The only one of them that seemed fine was Lance, beaming and so clearly in his element.

Shiro quickly realized whose dream he'd walked in on. The other three paladins weren't here at all—Lance imagined them, and no doubt thought he was imagining Shiro as well. Given how little fun they get to have, Shiro wasn't about to ruin that for him.

It only took him a split second to decide he would play along with the charade.

"Shiro! I'm so glad you're here," exclaimed Lance once he'd finally joined them. "Maybe you can talk some sense into Keith."

"Wouldn't have to if you'd just admit I spiked the ball within the lines," grumbled Keith.

"It wasn't! Nobody likes a sore loser, mullet-boy," taunted Lance.

"It's not a mullet—!"

"Here's an idea," interrupted Shiro, wanting to diffuse the situation before it escalated anymore than it already has. "Why not play something else to settle the issue."

Lance's expression quickly shifted to glee once again. "I have water guns at the house!" he volunteered, running up and over the dunes. Shiro followed him curiously, and was only mildly surprised to see a quaint little beach house at the top of the hill which Lance was running up to.

Oh.

And just as suddenly as it went, the ache in his chest burned a hole where his heart skipped a beat. This was Lance's home, the one he shared with his family on Earth before joining the Garrison. He realized why this place felt so familiar, so welcoming, and yet so forbidding. After everything he went through since his mission, he could never come back to Earth—he could never live a normal life like the others, not with the scars the Galra left on his body and his mind. He had no doubt he would be considered a danger to society between his weaponized arm and the flashbacks he sometimes had… The same ones he so carefully tried to conceal from his teammates.

Shiro quickly dispelled those thoughts from his head before Lance could return. He had no way of knowing if the imaginary paladins would betray his distracted thoughts, although they seemed to have frozen completely while Lance was away. As soon as the Blue Paladin came into view again, the three still forms became animated again, Keith wearing a bored expression while Hunk and Pidge grinned like excited children.

Lance was carrying a beach basket filled with various water guns and balloons that were already filled. Some of them looked like regular water guns, but Shiro couldn't help noticing that one of them distinctly looked like Lance's blaster bayard.

"Mom said to keep the fight away from the house," said Lance, unloading the large basket of its various water guns, and the rest of what he said and did melded together in a haze, events quickly losing their meaning to Shiro. He went along with the dream, feeling almost outside of himself as he watched and experienced in confused enjoyment. This definitely hadn't happened in the previous two dreams. He was vaguely aware of them bickering over who should have which gun (and Lance naturally got the one that resembled his bayard) and a fight where it was every man for himself on a playing field that sort of reminded Shiro of a paintball arena with sandy walls built up and crumbling as the water jets hit them and man-made water puddles dotting this part of the beach.

Most importantly, Shiro remembered having fun for the first time in over a year.

Lance seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was living in a dream and that the paladins around them were just pale imitations of their friends. More than once, Shiro wondered what his mission here was and the longer the dream went on, but more he was starting to think he was failing it and may never find his way back to the real world again.

And the more serious Shiro's thoughts became, the harder it became to conceal them. He didn't know what it was about this dream world that made him more vulnerable, but it was alarming him, especially when Lance started to cast worried glances at him.

But for the most part, he seemed blissfully unaware of any of their troubles. Shiro envied him that much. He knew Lance struggled with their mission as much as the rest of them, but his carefree attitude always made it seem easier for him.

As consumed Shiro was with his thoughts, he didn't notice the sun setting or the other paladins disappearing, leaving only himself and Lance. He found the younger paladin sitting on the edge of the beach where the short waves lapped over his legs up to his waist. He was gazing out at sea, his earlier carefree expression replaced with a much more serious one that rivalled Shiro's own.

Concerned by this new side to Lance, Shiro walked over to join him on the beach. He wouldn't break the comfortable silence that naturally settled, choosing to gaze out at sea as well and letting Lance initiate the conversation when he's ready.

"Y'know, you're the person I look up to the most," said Lance suddenly, his eyes fixed stubbornly at sea.

Shiro was taken aback, surprised by the confession. "Why?" he asked.

"Because you're a cool guy, Shiro," shrugged Lance. "You're the star pilot, the poster boy for the garrison, the youngest spacepilot to venture the farthest. That's pretty awesome."

Shiro couldn't help the slight blush that rose in his cheeks at the open admiration Lance displayed. Before he could argue, the sea foam around their legs slowly rose from the water, like a cloud of mist rising and Shiro quickly saw it for what it was. But it took Lance a moment of shock as the foam rose into a feline shape and noticing Shiro's calm demeanour to cast the Blue Lion a second glance and his fear quickly morphed into a stunned amazement.

"Holy crap, Blue!" he exclaimed, and just as quickly, the landscape around them stilled into the dreams Shiro had grown accustomed to, windless and empty except for himself, the lions, and the paladin dreaming.

Lance approached his lion, holding a hand out to stroke her foamy head and his expression switched to that familiar glee when he no doubt felt the soft texture of fur where there should have been a soft mist. The two shared a look that told Shiro she was talking to her paladin.

"You're really here," breathed Lance, breaking his gaze from the Blue Lion to glance at Shiro. "You disappeared but you're really here. How?"

Shiro shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just trying to find my way back—" He stopped himself before he could spill out the word "home," as though coming back to Earth could ever be an option for him.

Lance and Blue seemed to have caught his hesitation based on how Lance's lips curved down in a slight frown.

"I don't… I can't go home like this," reasoned Shiro, crossing his arms over his chest to cover the gaping scars across his side.

"What? You mean because of your scars?" asked Lance, confused and a little surprised. "People walk around with scars and prosthetics all the time."

"It's not just that," mumbled Shiro, kicking the sand under him. "You talk about me like I'm some hero for going out into space only to fail. I failed the Kerberos mission."

"You didn't _fail_. You never even had the chance to succeed," reasoned Lance. Behind him, the sun was beginning to set on the water, causing the ocean's ripples to bath in golden sunlight and the sun to melt into the vast waters.

Shiro was stunned into silence by the sight, but oblivious to it, Lance continued. "People back home still think of you as a hero. They commemorated you as soon as you and the Holts went off radar. I bet they'd still think of you as a hero just for coming back alive. Besides, the whole point of the mission was to prove there was other life forms and guess what—you're living proof."

Shiro frowned at his words. "It's not that simple," he said, still clinging to his insecurities.

"I know that, but it's not like you'd be alone," reminded Lance, frowning too now. "Even when it's all over, you don't really expect us to all just… drift apart, do you?"

Shiro bit his lip and looked away. He wouldn't have said so out loud, but that was what he expected to happen. They were all forced into these circumstances and Voltron was the only thing they had in common outside the Garrison.

"We've been through too much together to abandon each other," said Lance, his tone betraying his disappointment and anger towards Shiro. "Even if the rest of the world turns against you for being different, you know we never will. Between us, you'll always have a place where you belong and can call home."

Shiro shifted uncomfortably, his feet kicking up sand. He hated feeling vulnerable like this.

The Blue Lion made a small, whining sound.

"Shiro, don't you trust us?" pleaded Lance. "Just trust us. We're here for you, too."

Shiro let out a sigh, his lips curling up in a small smile. "Yeah, I trust you," he promised. He could trust these kids with his life. That shouldn't have to end with Voltron.

"Good. Then let's find the Black Lion," grinned Lance, turning to face the sea again, but unlike Shiro, he was unfazed by the melting sunset.

What _did_ faze him was the sudden white shimmer that rose from the ocean on the horizon where the sun sank, filling the purple-blue dusk with a cloud of white dust dotted with green and yellow flecks. "Holy shit," breathed Lance.

Shiro frowned. "How am I supposed to get to that," he stated rather than asked.

Lance shrugged, but the Blue Lion walked over to him, her head tilting up to lock gazes with Shiro. Taken aback by her behaviour, Shiro didn't notice when she shrouded the two of them in a cool mist apart from her being.

"She says we can just walk over," said Lance, sounding disbelieving but completely willing to try.

"And I guess you want me to trust you, huh?" said Shiro in a subtly teasing tone.

"Yep!" beamed Lance, walking over to the shore where the water seemed to part around him. "See? Completely safe."

Shiro didn't even have it in him to be surprised by this. With a sigh, he followed Lance into the water, walking on the ocean floor with the Blue Lion parting the waters ahead for them. Even through the murk, the light could be seen and it was easy to follow.

They walked by colourful corals and underwater plantlife, schools of fish swimming around them and even the shadow of a whale swimming overhead and contrasting with the light of the cosmos. When they reached the light, the Black Lion's bulk stood out starkly, sitting patiently for her paladin to join her.

Shiro smiled seeing her, walking over to pet her large head and she purred, leaning her massive form into his touch once again and rubbing her head against his bare chest.

"You better come back to us, Shiro," said Lance in a playfully threatening tone. "We need you as much as you need us."

Shiro thought over the last words. Lance was probably right about that. "I'm coming," he promised, smiling. He gave Lance a casual salute before walking into the light just as he'd done before.

* * *

Lance woke up, dreaming of home and sunsoaked waters when the alarms started blaring, his room flashing red. His heart started pounding in his chest as adrenaline surged into his veins and he jumped out of bed. Having never taken off his paladin armour, he rushed to the main deck, ready to report for duty.

At the back of his mind, he was gnawed with worry over the fact that all the other paladins were in his dream, except for Shiro. He felt guilty, like he was already forgetting their leader and he knew Shiro deserved so much better.


	5. Keith

Nothing could have prepared Shiro for what he saw next. Given how the previous three dreams went (granted, Lance's was strange, but a pleasant change), he never expected to end up on the Galra's planet. So far as he knew, only he and Black have seen this place as it currently is so who was dreaming about it? Why?

Shiro was beginning to entertain the idea that maybe this was the Black Lion's memories again, that maybe there was something crucial he missed the first time, until he recounted the previous dreams to himself: Pidge on Olkarion, Hunk on the Balmera, Lance on Earth, which left only…

Keith.

Ah.

Somehow, Shiro wasn't so surprised anymore.

He knew Keith had been dwelling on his probable roots, that he'd been letting it eat at him in quiet solitude, much like Shiro had done about the year of his life he'll never get back. For this reason, he never really addressed it with Keith when he knew he should have. He should have reached out to the younger man, told him it didn't change who he was to the rest of them, much less to him. He should have stepped up, laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, and shown him in their own special way—that special bond they shared—that nothing needed to change if Keith didn't want it to. His heritage didn't have to define him.

He hoped this dream would give him the chance to finally say the things Keith needed to hear.

But first, he needed to find him.

This planet had an eerie feel to it, like walking through a haunted canyon. Anything that might have been living died long ago, leaving only mineral matter—most of it looking like the deep red of iron, but also a dark grey, purplish stone that Shiro imagined might have been the source of the Galra's highly-durable steel. There was the occasional skeleton of a sequoia-sized tree, some still standing, most laying on their sides scattered here and there. An occasional structure stood shattered along the tree lines, but they were the only signs that an entire civilization once dwelled here.

Shiro walked and walked but he wasn't catching any sight of Keith. He was beginning to lose hope, feeling wayward and lost until he saw a glimmer of red and silver behind an outcropping of rocks. His interest piqued, Shiro walked over and hope was reignited when he realized it looked like the Red Lion's tail poking from behind the outcropping. His pace went up to a full run and relief washed over him when he saw Red's bulk, sitting still and lifeless as the Lions did in Pidge's dream.

Shiro let out a relieved laugh seeing her, until his eye caught the edge of the abyss she was sitting over, her blank gaze locked on the remains of the planet's innards still floating in the dead atmosphere, dotting the starry space with debris and rock. Shiro reflexively took a step back and towards Red, not wanting to fall over the edge. It seemed silly, but he felt like he might just drop off the edge of the world if he got too close.

He heard a shuffle not far off on Red's other side and Shiro instantly became alert, his stance braced to fight off whatever made the noise. With his ears strained, he quickly realized it sounded like someone walking in a carefree, determined pace, which only heightened Shiro's preparedness to fight. When he saw the familiar red paladin armour come into his line of sight, Shiro let out a strained breath, causing Keith's ears to perk in his direction.

"Who's there?" he called with aggressive caution, and Shiro chose then to come out of hiding from behind Red's hind leg.

"Hey," he greeted in as casual a tone as he could manage given the adrenaline making his heart beat wildly.

Keith's eyes went wide at the sight of him, clad in uniform, whole, and unharmed. It wasn't exactly the reaction Shiro hoped to get, but he couldn't help thinking it was typical of Keith to be so cautious. Despite how hot-headed and impulsive everyone chalked him up to be, Keith still didn't like surprises.

"When did you get here?" he asked, his voice betraying his emotions only slightly.

Shiro shrugged. "Hard to tell time in space without a watch," he said. Keith snorted at the smartass comment. "My bigger question is why you're dreaming about a planet you've never seen," added Shiro more seriously.

Keith frowned at the question. "I've always dreamt of this place," he said. "Even when I was a kid. It scared me back then, but after everything that's happened since becoming paladins, it doesn't really faze me anymore."

Shiro's curiosity perked even more. "Do you know what this place is?"

Keith shrugged. "Do you?"

"The Black Lion brought me here once," explained Shiro, walking over to the outcropping of rocks to sit at its base, prompting Keith to do the same so they could talk shoulder-to-shoulder, gazing out into the starry void. "It was one of her memories from way back when she was first created. It's the Galra's home planet."

Keith nodded in thought, his face clearly showing the pieces of a puzzle clicking in his mind. "Doesn't exactly explain why I keep seeing this place in my dreams, but it's a start," he said under his breath.

A strange thought occurred to Shiro. "Do you think the Galra have some sort of hive-mind?" he thought aloud. "Maybe the Galra part of you is remembering this place."

Keith scoffed. "I don't think so, but it would explain how the Druids fight," he joked.

"What if your mother was a druid?" thought Shiro.

"Then that would just add to the pile of Galra crap forced onto me, wouldn't it?" he replied with a sigh.

Shiro frowned giving his shoulder a light nudge with his own. "Didn't mean it like that."

"I know."

The two of them drifted into silence a moment, and Shiro allowed it, feeling this wasn't quite the right moment to unload his thoughts onto Keith.

"I think Red remembers this place," Keith said suddenly. "I think she's the one dreaming about it and I somehow keep drifting into them."

Shiro's chest tightened. "Kinda like how I drifted into yours?" he replied.

"Well, not really. I mean, I'm just imagining you because I miss you, you know?" said Keith, completely uninhibited now that it was all just a dream. "Whatever happened to you is scaring all of us. I'm worried that this might've finally been the end for you and I never got to say goodbye—again."

Shiro felt like his heart might just explode from the emotions that were welling up. "It's not the end," he promised sullenly. "I'm finding my way back. The Black Lion is helping me get back to you and the others. But until then, I _need_ you to lead them."

Keith's expression suddenly darkened at the grim reminder. "I don't _want_ to lead Voltron! The Black Lion hasn't even been online since you disappeared so it's not like I _can_. I'm the Red Paladin, the Right Arm of Voltron, not the Head of Voltron. I'm not you!"

"I… I never said you were," stammered Shiro.

"And besides, considering how Allura treated me after we all found out what I am, I bet King Alfor would roll in his grave if he found out a Galra was leading Voltron," spat Keith.

"Allura got over it, and since at least one of the paladins was Galra, I doubt King Alfor would be bothered by it," reasoned Shiro. "Just because you have Galra blood, doesn't automatically mean you're some monster that should be taken down. You're still the same Keith—nothing will change that unless you want it to."

Keith cast his gaze down, staring out into the abyss, but unseeing. "I know that," he murmured, suddenly quiet again. "But I wish you knew that too."

Shiro was confused by that. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean considering the time you spent in prison. Your arm," he explained vaguely. "Having a prosthetic made of Galra tech hardly makes you part-Galra. It's doesn't even come close to actually being one by blood."

Shiro frowned. He didn't know his thoughts about it were so transparent.

"Makes you kind of a hypocrite for lecturing me about how it doesn't change anything when you still punish yourself for it. So do me a favour," Keith said, looking up and spearing Shiro with a hard gaze. "Be nicer to yourself. You're not fooling anyone by pretending everything's okay."

"You don't know what happened out there," said Shiro, his tone steely and defensive.

"Yeah, well, last I checked, nor do you," retorted Keith. "And whatever it is, I bet it was all done for survival and not because you actually enjoyed it. In that case, congratulations: you gave an alien species a pretty damn good impression of what humans are capable of despite our weaknesses so maybe they'll stay the fuck away from home."

And there it was again: home. It seemed that Keith and Lance are on the same page, even if they don't know it (or would acknowledge it). Still, despite the ache in his heart, Shiro had to laugh at Keith's harsh, but true words.

"So you still think of Earth as home?" he asked.

Keith shrugged. "I may not have any family there, but at least I'll still have you. That's home enough for me."

Shiro felt his heart swell five times over. "Then I need to make sure I get there."

There was a rumble in the ground. It wasn't quite like an earthquake, but it was a muffled sort of sound, like something deep underground was stirring. The two young men walked around the outcropping to investigate and found a cloud of dust had lifted over the horizon.

It was Keith's idea to pilot the Red Lion towards the commotion. Given how still the planet had been in Keith's previous dreams of it, he considered it worth investigating. What they found was a chain of mountains, each tipped in a purple haze that seemed to darken with every fresh tremble in the earth. They both disembarked from the Red Lion and she went back into her guarded sitting position, her eyes dimming once again as the two paladins watched the chain of mountains erupted into a rain of rock and lava, an acrid smell of sulfur filling the air that barely filtered into their helmets.

But one of the larger mountains to their left shot out a beam of white light, clearing the dark clouds that formed in the dead atmosphere and Shiro instantly recognized it.

"That's where I need to go," he said.

"What a minute!" cried out Keith, frowning. "A dead planet suddenly has a volcanic eruption and your first goddamn thought is to just _walk into one?!_ "

"I need to, Keith. It's the only way I'll ever get back home." Shiro choked on that word. After all he went through in this plane, he needed it more and more.

Before Keith could get another word in, the earth between them and the mountains exploded outwards, a chain of lava rising from the fresh crevice. It pooled around one edge, rising up again and slowly hardening into magma in the shape of a lion, her eyes glowing with the deep fire that still burned within. She stood proud and defiant, as though the destruction she wreaked was her masterpiece. Shiro gawked at the sight of her, and Keith may have stood stunned, but it only lasted a second before being replaced with awe and pride of his own.

"This is my lion," he breathed, all his conviction spoken in those few words. Despite the heat radiating off her, Keith approached her without fear, cradling her head in his palms as she rolled in his touch.

Shiro was shocked into silence. It gave Keith and the Red Lion plenty of time to process their bond before they finally turned their attention back to Shiro. "Let's get you home," said Keith, he and his lion walking towards the larger volcano side by side and Shiro could only follow. He wouldn't dare go near _this_ lion. He was more certain than ever now that she and Keith wholly belonged to each other.

Unlike previous dreams, they rushed over to the cosmic light, afraid the earth would open up beneath them and swallow them whole. Within moments, with the Red Lion filling crevices with the lava that filled her belly quickly hardening to black rock to pave the way, they arrived at the mouth of the volcano, the only one to have stilled since the eruptions began. As always, the Black Lion stood proud, graceful, ethereal in contrast to the white specks that danced in the air, the faintest shades of green, yellow, blue. Shiro embraced her once again, hoping he was crossing the last stepping stone to his survival.

As always, he and Keith didn't need parting words. Those they kept for when it would truly be the last time. With a final glance to his right hand man, his best friend, Shiro and Black stepped into the light once again.

* * *

Keith awoke slowly and hazily from his dream, his head pounding from where the Gladiator had hit him too hard.

He slowly sat up, the room pooled in intermittent red, making his head flare with pain.

He must have passed out.

A quick look around reminded him where he was. Since they came back to the Castle, Keith couldn't bare the thought of what might have happened to Shiro and disappeared to the training decks to lose himself in yet another fight. This time, he actually reached level 5 with the Gladiator, ignoring his body's limits.

He probably had a concussion, but that was something the healing pods could take care of within thirty minutes, so unworried, he got up and made his way to the control deck, stumbling through his foggy, concussed mind..


	6. Reborn

Shiro didn't know what to feel when he found himself exactly where he started in the same black endless void: disappointment? Relief? It was certainly less exciting or interesting than the dreams he experienced with his friends. He turned around and instead of a bright, abysmal light, the Black Lion stood in her massive earthly form, shiny and clear, good as new.

He wondered why she chose this form over her true one. Shiro couldn't help thinking he was going to miss her true form, having gotten used to it, although this was one was still far more familiar. Without an ounce of hesitation, he let himself in and sat down in the pilot's seat, his title as the Black Paladin, Head of Voltron his redemption for killing so many innocents as a Galra prisoner.

He gripped the levers, his hands tightening around them and taking in a deep breath in its familiarity, how her controls fit just perfectly into his palms like she was made for him. It felt like coming home. She was an extension of his being and he was an extension of hers.

He felt more than he heard her purring softly around him, thrumming into his palms and up to his chest, warm and welcoming.

But just as quickly as their bliss came, it was shattered as a third, intruding mind shattered their bond.

Her anger was palpable, throbbing on the edges of his consciousness and through the view over his dash, Shiro saw Zarkon's form, naked and pulsing with all the power he once stole.

Shiro's heart started pounding, his instincts taking charge as he gripped her shifts tight and leaped up into action.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the control deck where Allura and Coran were already in position, trying to figure out what triggered the alarms on the Castle.

"It's coming from the Black Lion's hangar," Coran announced sullenly when he heard the doors slide open, letting the other four paladins in.

He pulled up the screen that showed camera footage within the hangar, the Black Lion very much online again and thrashing about the hangar, slamming her shoulders into the walls and denting them and her claws and teeth sinking into something they couldn't see.

"Has she lost her mind?" exclaimed Hunk.

"Kind of looks like she's fighting something," thought Pidge. "Are the scans reading anything?"

"No, nothing," informed Coran.

No one volunteered to go in and investigate. Until they could figure out what had the Black Lion acting out like this, unpiloted and savage, they thought it was best to leave her in her gilded cage.

* * *

At first, Shiro thought he had everything under control. He and Zarkon were matching up blow for blow, until he'd shifted to dodge a certain blow but the Black Lion didn't obey, her hind legs digging in to take Zarkon's blow head on and knocking him off balance. That was when he realized he had no control whatsoever. The Black Lion decided to take this fight on by herself, unguided by Shiro.

On the one hand, he was unnerved about being so completely out of control. On the other hand, he felt protected, cared for, loved to a degree he'd never known possible before this moment. The Black Lion, although they'd struggled to bond since he was made the Black Paladin, had completely taken him in and was actively fighting against the bonds Zarkon continuously forced onto her.

Shiro could feel it in his own bones: this was the last time Zarkon would ever try to bind her mind, her being, and she has had enough of him.

Unable to control the outcome of the fight himself, Shiro did the only thing he could do, gripping the shifts tightly in his palms and letting his mind drift beside her, feeling a string weave between them, binding them together as they've done so many times before. Depending on how she handled the battle with Zarkon's soul, the string either grew slack or taut, but when it grew slack, he picked it up and when it grew taut, he only thought harder to strengthen their connection, strengthening the string so it couldn't be broken no matter how hard Zarkon tried to pull them apart.

Time lost all meaning to him in this never ending battle. As the string occasionally grew slack, Shiro started to wind the excess around his limbs, and eventually his body, pulling him and his lion closer and closer together. The string bound him to her, completely entangled.

Not long ago, this feeling would've made Shiro feel trapped, helpless, useless, but now it only strengthened his will to fight, to _win_.

He thought back to the carefree, unworried, _unchallenged_ bond Pidge shared with the Green Lion.

* * *

He reflected on the nurturing, loving, steadfast bond Hunk shared with the Yellow Lion.

He imagined the playful, trusting, open bond Lance shared with the Blue Lion.

He remembered—with a hard yank to his heart—the _proud_ , wild, impassioned bond Keith shared with the Red Lion.

Zarkon robbed Shiro of his bond with Black but he was going to reclaim it, forcefully and unrelentingly. He deserved what the other paladins already had.

He deserved her commanding presence.

He deserved her devotion.

He deserved her affection.

He was ready to claim his title and the responsibilities bound to it. He vowed that he would never give up on his mission, never allow himself to lose his way again, never lose hope in what Voltron represents, what it means to the world.

Going home will be the only reward he needs.

* * *

Hours seemed to pass but the Black Lion wasn't calming down. Coran and Slav were beginning to worry that she'd gone feral somehow, with everything that happened in their battle against Zarkon and her paladin missing.

It didn't matter that Allura tried to convince them that this was absurd, the Black Lion, the Head of Voltron, couldn't just "lose her mind." There was nothing more horrifying than the thought of the universe's strongest weapon going rampant and thrashing around, destroying everything in her wake.

"Either way, she's going to break through those walls if she keeps going like this," reminded Hunk.

"And we're gonna have to hope she breaks out into space and not into the rest of the castle. We're screwed if she gets to the engine room like this," remarked Pidge.

"Hopefully it won't come to that," said Coran, sounding more confident than he looked, his eyes glued to the screen that let them see into the chaos that was the Black Lion's hangar.

"Hey, I think she's slowing down," commented Hunk, hovering not far behind Coran.

At that, Keith lifted his head from where he was cradling it in his crossed arms, his knees tucked to his chest. Standing was giving him a headache. When he looked up at the screen, it was hopeful, but he couldn't pinpoint why. "I'm going down there," he stated, leaning on his palm down on the floor to get up.

"Are you nuts?!" exclaimed Lance, shooting up off the floor by his side. "You're injured and we have a mad lion trying to break down the castle!"

"If she did, she would've done it by now," sighed Keith. "I still think she's fighting something we can't see. She hasn't been using her lasers or her wings to fight. Didn't you notice that?"

"Well, yes, but I didn't think much of it," replied Coran.

In any case, Keith had made his decision and made his way down to the Black Lion's hangar, the other three paladins following in his wake while Allura and Coran remained in the deck to keep an eye on them.

"Maybe we should just let her out," said Hunk as they walked. "Maybe she's just feeling cooped up and wants some fresh air—so to speak."

"Pretty sure the lions can open their hangar doors themselves," thought Lance.

But Keith wasn't listening to their inane chatter or the insane slamming of metal on metal that reverberated through the castle, his mind fogging around everything but the single driving thought in his brain: get to the Black Lion, get to the Black Lion, get to the Black Lion.

Anything else would have just aggravated his headache. God, he just wanted to sleep a little bit… Just a few minutes.

He was pulled from his thoughts abruptly when he felt a vice-like grip on his upper-arm, pulling him up—he'd started slumping and didn't even realize it.

"Keith, sit down," Lance ordered him gently, helping him towards the edge of the hall to sit, and although Keith resisted, it wasn't very effective.

"No, I need to be there," he whined, his voice slurring subtly.

"Why? Why are you suddenly so hell-bent on putting yourself in danger? First the Gladiator, now a Lion gone rogue?!"

"No, Shiro," he slurred deliriously before passing out again, slumped against the wall.

"Keith, wake up!" screamed Lance harshly, slapping him across the face loud enough for it to echo down the hall.

And that's when they all realized the echo was the only sound to be heard.

"She stopped," whispered Pidge.

" _Yes, she seems to have calmed down,_ " said Coran's voice through their coms. " _She's crouching in her hangar, but I can't tell if it's because she's about to pounce or lay down_."

"Let's hope she's about to lay down," murmured Hunk. He walked over to where Keith sat to wrap an arm around him, slinging Keith's arm over his shoulder to help him walk the rest of the way.

They wordlessly walked, their ears peeled for any more sounds from the hangar, any sign that the Black Lion might act up again, but even as they reached the door, there was no sound. Lance swallowed hard before activating the door, letting it slide aside.

As they looked in, the Black Lion was motionless, lying on her stomach with her paws tucked under her, her head laying flat against the floor, welcoming. At this point, Keith started pulling his own weight again, his stride steady and determined as he made his way to her massive maw and as he approached, she opened her hatch to welcome them in.

This was the only permission any of them needed to make their way in, now rushing to the cockpit as they've done the night before.

" _Will someone_ please _tell us what is happening,_ " said Allura, her tone betraying her impatience. " _Is something there_?"

But the four paladins were stunned into silence as all of them felt a rush of memories fill them, suddenly and harshly remembering their dreams, the trigger laying limp on the floor of the Black Lion's cockpit, still decked in his Black Paladin armour and the steady rise and fall of his chest the only indication that he's even alive.

None of them would admit it, but they each started to cry.

"It's Shiro," choked Keith, stumbling towards their leader to pick him up, hold him in his arms. "He's back. He came back."

A sharp intake of breath could be heard through their helmets as Allura gasped.

Between Hunk and Coran, they were able to lift Shiro up to the medical ward, easing him (and Keith, finally) into a healing pod, happy to find that he was completely uninjured. Since he was only sleeping, they moved him into his own bed, and informed Keith of it once he was out of his own healing pod.

"Is it wrong that I just wanna jump in bed with him and hug him forever?" said Hunk, too relieved to care about how childish that might sound.

"I feel ya on that," smiled Lance. "But let's at least wait until he wakes up."

It was the longest, most fitful sleep Shiro had in over a year. Everyone made themselves at home in his room, quietly whispering as they each retold their dreams to each other and Allura, Coran, and Sav. They were in glee for the whole eight hours until the man finally rolled over like nothing ever happened.

They knocked the air right out of him as they all jumped into bed with him in the biggest, heaviest group hug he'll ever have.

[THE END]

* * *

 **Notes:** Thanks for hanging on until now, guys. I've read and cherished every single one of your reviews and I'd love to hear your final thoughts on this project. If you have any questions (or requests, who knows), feel free to message me either or on my tumblr (same username).

Cheers!


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